Possibly The Manliest Film Ever

Yeeeeeeeeeh, yeah they are sliding, and...and shooting...and, and just YEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I know many of you won't have heard of The Boondock Saints, so as a quick recap Il do a wee history for ya. In 1999 The Boondock Saints was released and it was awesome. I don't imagine it did well at the box office, but fuck the box office, it had; Irishmen in Boston, guns, stupid manly humour, more guns, executions, montages, Wilem Dafoe, Billy Connolly (with guns) and so many more amazing jizztastic elements I can't begin to explain. The story followed the two MacManus brothers who are the two most badass hitmen in Boston. They wear cool outfits and have double silencer pistols and shiz, and they recite some biblical shit before blowing two holes in the back of their targets head so the exit path goes through each of the targets eyes (yeah i know, FUCKING SWEET!) then they go to a bar and get lashed, because, well , because they are Irish, thats what they do. Anyways, by the end of the film they disover the man sent after them to kill them is their Dad, played b Billy Connolly, they are all like "wait, what the fuck? why are we trying to murk each other, lets team up and pwn some fools!" and so they shoot up a court room full of mobsters then disappear into thin air. That film was made 11 years ago, and only last year did some dick in Hollywood think "Holy shit, why did we never make a sequel to that awesome pile of badass that we made 10 years ago?" and so The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day was born. And its freakin' Gangsta.

We begin the story with the MacManus bros living with their pops in Ireland. For some reason people in America seem to think Ireland is stuck in the 17th century, with the MacManus family riding around on horses and eating with wooden cutlery and wooden bowls, and apparently unable to shave. But apart from that they are having a jolly old time picking their tatoes and being Irish. Then they get word that some asshat in Boston decided to murder the shit out of their priest. Not cool man. The MacManus' are like, well religious, innit, so the two bros decide that its time for a sweet fucking montage, where they cut all their hair off and get their guns ready and just really testosterone fueled shit like that, and then head off to America to plug some holes in the tool who murked their religious buddy. They manage to pick up a mental Mexican sidekick on the way, as you do, and they arrive in Boston with vengeance on the agenda.

After they arrive, shit gets real, basically peple start getting shot, some people get shot, and then um, some more people get shot, and blown up, and stuff. there is a cool Godfather pt2 thing going on with Billy Connolly's character, as we look back into his past growing up in the states and how he became the huge badass that he is. This comes back at the end of the film, leading us the the climax, where almost everyone dies. Wicked

I could not recommend this film enough, it has everything you could ever want in a film (if your brain is made entirely of testosterone and steroids), it has guns, slow motion shootouts, fucking SLIDING (see above), slapstick comedy bits and lots more shooting and death and stuff; and in a move of pure genius they wrote a fine lady into the script also, played by the lovely Julie Benz (Rita from that show Dexter) which also led to them putting her in loads of ridiculous outfits designed solely to give men wood. By any means this is not intelligent cinema, but I really don't give a shit, people can try and deny it, but every man loves a good dose of guns and carnage and stupid cheesy, yet badass, script, with one-liners and biblical stuff all over the joint.
I can't really go into the plot too much as it would ruin the film (like I was paying attention to the plot amongst all the crazy shit going on), I can't really go into the acting, as there wasn't really much of that, and trying to discern a meaning from this film seems pointless, but you should still see it, and whilst your at it get the 1999 prequel too, and i guarantee, if your male, these films will make your nuts physically grow, as your brain will be so pumped up on guns that it starts squirting testosterone around your body like a 30 year old virgin spraying a water hose at a wet t-shirt contest. Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day is more manly than a steak dinner laying on top of a pile of weights, sitting in a tank of beer...with topless women running in circles around the tank...shooting guns...and screaming my name (thats just in my scenario). So go now, go and watch this film right fucking now, before I hunt yu down and remove your undeserving testes.

P.S - to any ladies reading this post, you should watch it too, to see how simple the male mind is, as this is what men really want to watch, we may try and impress you by saying we were "absorbed" by Changeling and that The Pianist was "hauntingly beautiful", but all we really want is this, guns and more guns!

Till next time
Peace