Oooooo How Marvel-ous

Yeah I know, it has been like, baaaaare time since my last post, but I still have no internet, so as a write this I am in the university computer lab, sitting next to lots of smelly geeky people. The summer is upon us, and like every year, the summer means blockbusters are near; big expensive popcorn munching blockbusters. Are these films intelligent and thought provoking? Nooooo, but, they do have plenty of this
and this
maybe a bit of this
perhaps a dab of this

Ok in all honesty I have no idea what the hell is happening in that last pic, but fuck, it looks badass, so who cares.
But yeah, where was I? Oh, summer blockbusters, this year, have been kickstarted by Ironman 2, whiiiiich, I havn't seen yet...because I am poorer than that smelly dude you see picking old pizza out of your bins and then passed out in inner city underpasses, and any money I do have is being injected into train fare funds to get to Chertsey every week. What i can do however, is reviw the first installment, Ironman; think of it as me trying to convince anybody who hasn't seen it to go see it, and the sequel. But really if you havn't seen Ironman then you should die. After getting all up on my nuts.

So we have Ironman, released 2008, directed by Jon Favreau, and it blew my mind everywhere, like all over the floor and shit. On a quick side note, i want to continue the quest for an anwswer to this question, is Favreau fat or stacked? I can't tell, he goes from this to this fat thing fuck ironman, thats "Trans-fats Man" look at the state of him.
Aaaaanyway, this is a truely awesome film, it is my favourite superhero film, yup, even more than the Batman series, probably because it is genuinly funny and AWESOME.

The story follows Tony Stark, the young hotshit CEO of Stark industries, a crazy big weapons manufacturer that he inherited from his dad; but Tony aint no slouch, he is like totally smart yeah, and he invents shit,....all the time. So when he gets kidnapped and injured by his own weaponry at the hands of a terrorist cell whilst in Afghanistan, promoting his latest range of terrorist creaming missiles, the shit is all up in the fan, as these crazy cave dwellers want him to build them a big ass rocket to fire at some poor people. First up they have plugged a battery magnet thing in his chest to stop this Stark Industries shrapnel from ripping his heart up, and when they initially ask him to buils them a WMD Tony is all like "suck all up on my nuts biznitch" but then they toture him a bit and he is like "Balls" and gives in. But hes a smart lil' cookie is our Tony and whilst his guards think he is building a missile, what he actually bulding is a mad technology to replace their shitty battery thing...oh yeah, and a big fuck off iron suit to bust his ass out of there (hehe, silly terrorists, pwned). When he busts out that joint, he flies home and decided that his days of producing weapons is over, as they all seem to be ending up in the hands of terrorists and killing Americans, and that not what Tony is about. Despite some pressure from the "board" or "investors" or something, Tony does what he wants and spends lots of time at home building and perfecting his designs for his Ironman suit so he can go and kick some Middle Eastern ass. Obvoulsly there is a hiccup abnd then all this crap happens, I won't ruin the story but trust me when I say there are plenty of explosions and fights and shit.

So yeah, the reason this film is brillo pads is mostly down to Robert Downey Jr, who is on a different level of manliness to most men, surpassing even myself (I sit on the council for the Van Damme plateau of the Man Tower) and he now resides on the Luther King Cloud, thats high up the tower. He is funny, and cool, and has an Iron suit, and bangs mad honeys all the time. What a hero. Also a strong supporting cast from Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard (one of my favourite actors), and The Dude (I have watched lots of his films recently), they don't have to blow your socks of in this film with there acting, as the action does that for you. Favreau really can direct action movies (see Hancock) and i must have jizzed about 40 timnes during the film from pure mangasm, not including the 5 instances I caught my reflection in the mirror. There is a kick ass soundtrack and it all moves at a brilliant blistering pace, whilst still making time for all the little important bits; like character development and relationship development. A fine job indeed for the Favface. i can't wait to have money to go see the sequel and you should all do the same, as I promise you it can't dissapoint. If you do see this film, or the new one and don't like them, then go jump off a bridge, because there is no reason for you to FUCKING EXIST!

yup yup

Till next time (hopefully not too long)
Peace