It was everywhere, all over the review section of Empire, and Total Film, all over IMDb message boards, all over everyones filthy little tongues, being indiscriminately flicked out mid conversation "Have you seen how awesome Kick Ass is?". "No" I would reply, as I am far too poor to pay London cinema ticket prices most of the time "But maybe if you keep talking about it I will FUCKING FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT!!" dicks. I wanted to see it but I couldn't, so all these people talking about it 24/7/365 was getting a bit on my tits. But I have seen it now, I finished watching it 5 minutes ago, and now I am a happy happy man! Cos it really was kick ass.
The story follows Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) your typical teenager, living it up in NYC! Unlike most super hero tales Dave isn't a super nerd who turns super awesome, he isn't the coolest kid ever either, with a mega rich family to fund his super hero hobby. No Dave is just middle of the pack, normal, average, mediocre, invisible. He just sits at home jerking off loads and hangs out with his friends at their local comic book store, drinking stupid drinks (why has everyone stopped drinking normal fucking coffee? What the fuck is a grande mocha choca shattee anyways?) and then they get routinely mugged on the way home. Dave decides that he has had quite enough of this shit and that somebody should do something, I mean why has nobody ever tried to be a super hero in real life?
"I tried. And now I am 35 and still a virgin!"
So he invests in a green wetsuit on the internets and models himself as Kick Ass, a super hero for the people. Needless to say, he is a bit shit, I mean, he is a comic book loser in a wetsuit, what do you expect. And as such, on his first "crime fighting mission" he gets himself stabbed and then run down by a car. It isn't all bad though as his injuries mean that the doctors have to fit him up with all these mad metal bones and his nerve endings are all totally fucked up so he can't really feel pain
Bit like this, but less straight up baller
He makes himself into somewhat of an internet celeb when he gets filmed fending off some random gangster dudes who are trying to beat the shit into some other gangster dude, and in doing so picks up the attention of two vigilante superheroes by the names of Big Daddy (Nic Cage) and his daughter Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) who have their own agenda concerning a mobster Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) whose operations they take pride in fucking up due to a storied personal history. Kick Ass and the father/daughter combo cross paths when they are both hitting a D'Amico stronghold at the same time. This doesn't do much to please D'Amico and he demands that his men bring Kick Ass in as they believe it was him who has been killing all their men. This raises the bar a bit much for poor Dave and when he is lured into a trap by D'Amico's son, played brilliantly by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin), he sets himself, Big Daddy and Hit Girl up in a bit of a sticky situation
Mmmmmmmm....Sticky
I won't tell anymore of the story cos that would be mean and would ruin the super badass ending. But I can tell you why this film is awesome and you should all go see it, if you haven't already that is. Its damn funny, for one, I mean really funny. Its that kind of effortless humour, they don't throw jokes in your face or set up dreadfully complex scenarios to set up more jokes; it is just plain good script writing and a dab of improv and it works, really bloody well. It helps that the premise for the whole film is a bit goofy, with your regular Joe trying to make a difference by buying an outfit off the internet and walking the streets at night looking to save missing cats and such; but the dialogue could hold up on its own. There is a mad soundtrack, its really bloody good, which is always important in these kind of films. Plus there is a totally rad first person shooter bit, which made me jizz all over the damn place! On to the more important stuff, the action direction is superb, every fight scene is brilliantly choreographed, the fights at the beginning being very real and gritty, such as the fight he has with the 3 gangster folk, and later in the film when he meets Hit Girl and Big daddy the fighting gets a bit more extravagant, but it never passes into the realm of ridiculous. It is just good plain up stab-tastic, gun toting fun, and I could watch it all again right now probably. The acting is great, with new talents like Mark Strong and Mintz-Plasse stealing the screen with their parts and Nic Cage proving this was one of the gems in his wildly inconsistent career
"I will sexy your face......off"
Most importantly Kick Ass just out right refuses to take itself too seriously, which I loved. Most super hero or action films try to fix that balance between badass action, light comedy and then striking a serious note, but in Kick Ass they took that method and just shat all over it, mixing scenes that, in other films, would have been the moment to pull a concerned stoic face and act all thoughtful, and they break it right in the middle with a completely inappropriate joke. For example when Big Daddy is getting set on fire (small spoiler...sorry) and I was about to say to myself "Shiiiiit, this just got real live!" but I was brought back to laughter when they cut to Dave's friends in the comic store, watching all this on the internet and one of them is gesturing wildly at the other to notice that a girl is using him to shield her eyes from the torture fest on screen. It was this kind of thing that made me love Kick Ass more than I would have anyway, as I refuse to take life too seriously, so films mirroring my personality will always be OK by me.
I mean, could you take this seriously? Thats a 13 year old with a silenced pistol!
So bottom line...Go watch this film. You shall not regret it, even if you live in London and have to shell out 17 quid for the pleasure.
Till next time
Peace
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