Really Hated It, But It is Surprisingly Entertaining Fodder

I shouldn't really have to say how unimpressive Dead Man Running is; i mean we can just look at the cast and tell pretty much instantly how gash this film will be. We have regular London rudeboy Danny Dyer (never have I wanted to stamp on a persons face more than I do when I see Dyer do anything...ever), Tamer Hassan, who stars in all the same films Dyer does, and has some minimal acting talent, and finally we have Curtis Jackson, yeah thats right, 50 fucking Cent. While 15 year old chavs the country over would probably have a wet dream at the prospect of this ensemble all bunched up in one film, I wasn't really looking forward to it.

The story follows Nick (Hassan), who is an ex-criminal type, trying to make it straight by selling ski holidays in Dubai (yeah i don't know how anybody could think that is a viable buissiness venture either; I think it was an attempt at comedy?!), Dyer plays Bing, Nick's sidekick type thing, and Mr 50 plays Mr Thigo, a loan shark who has decided to collect all outstanding debts, seeing as the recession is hitting his pocket mad hard. But ooooo a twist that is revealed far too early, Thigo is not going to let Nick pay back his debt, as he wants to use him as an example to hustle the other fools who owe him money into action. So Thigo kidnaps Nick's mum and gives him 24 hours to snatch up 100 grand, or the old lass and Nick get a bullet sandwich. Cue a madcap race around London, up the M6 to Manchester and to the racetrack as Nick and Bing try to rally together the dough in time, before mummy gets shot at. Oh also cue a single underground fist fight, which from the trailer is what I thought the whole film was, but turns out there is just one, terribly choreographed fight, and then its on to the next scam; this sucked, as I wouldn't have minded if Dead Man Running was a shitty British Bloodsport, maybe they could have worked in a cameo for Van Damme; see that would have been a great film, i should start writing that screenplay right now...watch this space.

What makes Dead Man Running so average is that it is totally predictable from the first minute, I sat there watching as Thigo was discussing calling in all debts, and instantly thought "Hes going to use Tamer Hassan's character as an example and at the end hes going to get murked standard" and I was right (yeah I know SPOILERS :O but honestly were you going to watch this film?) and like I said earlier, even if you didn't pick up this lame ass twist straight away, they reveal it to you around 15 minutes in, so there was no point in even attempting to veil the ruse at all. Idiots. Obviously the acting is just....meh, apart from Brenda Blethyn, yeah thats right Brenda fucking Blethyn, I have no idea how that poor woman ended up on this project, maybe it is a really weak attempt at career suicide?! Perhaps she is diddling 50 Cent and he thought it would be super sweet to promote his oldest ho in his shittest film?! I don't know, but whatever the excuse, Brenda, just deny any involvement in the future. You are far too good an actress to be galavanting around in this rolling pile of turd. She tries her best though, bless her, providing a fairly versatile performance as Nick's mum, and she provides some of the funnier moments, trying to make the most out of the script, but this was just a bad film to attach herself to.

Good points? Well the soundtrack was pretty good, with a bit of Prodigy, some Wiley, some other stuff. ummmmmmm, Im reaching here...............I suppose there were some funnyish moments, even if it does feel unbelievably forced and sounds like the lines were written by 14 year old who were experiencing being drunk for the first time, example; Nick pulls over at a petrol station on the way to Manchester, as he needs a poo. He and Bing have had some coke (why not ey?) and the clerk in the station is a bit rude, so, without warning, Nick smashes through the security glass, drags the unfavorable petrol station attendant out and takes the loo keys from him. Bing comes in, examines the scene, and asks, "What the fuck are you doing?" to which Nick replies "Im going...for a shit!". Don't know why, but that made me laugh, further proving how much of an infant I am.

Despite all of the above, Dead Man Running does have a niche in a film collection, it would be perfect as a rainy Sunday afternoon time filler, a quick 90 minute distraction before you do something more productive with yourself. For instance it just provided me with 90 minutes to ignore my dissertation, so that was good. The story unravels fast so the pace of the film is pushed to 11, which does make it somewhat entertaining, in it's own way, a bit like the Crank films, but not as good. It is entirely up to you if you watch it or not, I can't decide whether to recommend it or not, think for yourselves fools!

Oh and by the way, I am tired of searching for new films to watch and review, sooooo it would be greatly appreciated if you left comments on this post, maybe suggesting a film for me to review, and I will pick the best of the bunch to watch. If you don't, I will just continue to watch shit I want to watch.

Till next time
Peace